Friday, May 27, 2011

The Show to End All Shows

For once, I am thoroughly upset at myself. Somehow I missed the beginning of the new season of Big Brother Africa. I started to suspect something was wrong when everyone else around me, in our day-to-day encounters, began to appear more fulfilled than I. This being an unusual and downright unacceptable state of affairs, I finally cornered one of my acquaintances yesterday to investigate. After a brief interrogation, he revealed the reason for his sudden smug satisfaction with his otherwise pathetic life: Big Brother Africa is back, and this time it is AMPLIFIED!

Needless to say, I am mortified for having missed the first several weeks of this show. Nothing titillates me more than watching, for 24 hours straight, a group of ugly, attention-seeking, cantankerous, belligerent people engaging in never-seen-before activities such as cooking, cleaning, showering, and talking. But hard as it is to believe, that’s not even my favorite part of the show. At various intervals, the producers of the show put these people through mind-melting tasks such as: naming the currencies of various countries; dancing like video girls; and acting like clowns (literally). The I.Q. level that is required to excel in this show is truly astounding.

It’s unfortunate I’ve been so busy lately with this other thing I have to do called Life. As soon as I’m done with that, I’m going to register myself online so I can meet like-minded people in the BBA chat room, where, it appears, great fun is being had by all. I revel in intellectual debates, and there are some comments on the site from other members of the intelligentsia that simply cannot go unchallenged. For example:

“Lets kip Confidence in that heads house othewise well die of boredom…” -vaughanz

NSIL 7777 @ SHANI APO????........Q-RIOUS” -Anon 9692

“LUCLAYS BIZZY BODY IN HOUSE CANT B SEEN AS SWAGG”

How on earth can anyone not see Luclays bizzy body in house as swagg? Comments such as this cause me deep concern, so I will soon be deeply embedded in that chat room, engaging in mental warfare with these geniuses of our generation. And if I were the C.E.O. of M-Net, I would cancel all other channels and shows to ensure that this divinely-inspired and brilliantly executed show is broadcast to as many Africans as possible, as it is a true reflection of our various cultures and values, values which are important for our 13 year-old children, nieces and nephews to appreciate.

Well played, M-Net.

zakeozim@gmail.com

www.zim-madness.blogspot.com

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