Here Comes the Hate-mail...

I am hanging off my chair with laughter. I FINALLY got my first piece of hate-mail, and I must say it feels gorgeous.

The comment from “Anonymous” regarding my blog in general and my last post in particular was as follows:

“This blog is nothing but an exhibition of prejudice, bigotry, racism, afro-phobia, and other hot air judgements without a shred of objectivity. It is a pity that a person should subject many innocent readers to such trash with impunity. Shakespeare would have called us to tear him/her to pieces for his/her bad verses.”

You know people are taking you seriously when they take time out of their hectic schedules to read your entire blog and then compose a well-written response accusing you of all sorts of things. I didn’t even know the meaning of half the words she wrote (I just KNOW it’s a she, it’s the bigot in me!) and by the time I had hunted down a dictionary I was too tired to be offended.

But seriously, everything she says is absolutely, 100% true. I don’t deserve freedom of speech, even if I’m simply airing my opinion. Freedom of speech is reserved for special people, like Her Highness, who must be given time and space to express her own opinion that I’m a bigot, a rascist, prejudiced, and afro-phobic. And that is NOT a “hot-air judgement without a shred of objectivity”.

A plague o’ both my houses! Shakespeare surelestly turneth in his grave. Never was this my intention, but alas, we must be judged not by our intentions, but by the consequences of our actions. Your Highness, mayst you and your bosom buddy Sir William ever find it within your holy hearts to forgive me? I promise to never again enter your office, brutally tie you to your seat, staple your eyelids to your forehead, then navigate your computer to my blog and subject you to “such trash" "with impunity". So too the many other “innocent” readers who have been abused and have no recourse whatsoever except maybe to, um…er…I don’t know, maybe stop reading immediately and perhaps not return to the blog? Remove me as their friend on Facebook?

What? Stop reading? Remove you as a friend? What shocking suggestions. Instead, why don’t you pay $100 a night for a resort hotel, find pubic hair in your hotel bathtub minutes after checking in, and then simply smile, in order to appear to have a “shred of objectivity”?

Kiss my ass.

Like I said, people are the worst.