Thursday, April 21, 2011

Why the "Buy Zimbabwe" campaign is Bullshit

So I'm reading an article in this little paper called Business Connect about this "Buy Zimbabwe" campaign that was recently launched in the capital. I had heard about this campaign and saw several other articles about it in other papers, but I did my best to ignore it, on account of my blood pressure. Then the bastards behind it went on to plan a whole seminar about it, and take time out of their busy schedules to meet and discuss how to get consumers to start buying more local products, and how best to lobby government to raise duties and limit importation of finished goods. A whole businessman by the name of Supa Mandiwanzira actually stood up to say, "...Government must put legislation in place that will force all supermarkets to put 50% of local goods on shelves at any given time." I now feel compelled to comment.

With all the common sense quite evidently seeping through my pores and making people around me smarter just by association, it amazes me that some people still choose to have seminars and such without consulting me first. Because if these learned gentlemen had taken 2 minutes to brief me that they are concerned about Zimbabweans not buying enough local products, I would have given them one devilishly simple but amazingly effective strategy:

Stop making shit.

There is no amount of campaigning that can persuade me to eat a turd. There is no legislation anyone can dream up that can force me to pay for a steaming plate of dog shit. And, unfortunately, dog shit is exactly what the majority of Zimbabwean companies are serving up and expecting us not only to buy, but to pay MORE for than the imported substitute on the basis of being patriotic. Let's take an in-depth look at some of the vaunted local products that sell-out unpatriotic Zimbos like me are shunning:

Charhon's Loose Biscuits: Affectionately known as "ma-doggie", these treats are a delight - if you have polycrystalline diamond cutters for teeth. Otherwise your teeth will disintegrate from just looking at a packet of these biscuits for too long. These are cookies for real men. I can't imagine why anyone would opt for imported Bakers Strawberry Whirls instead - unless they're gay. I think our President has gone to great lengths, on numerous occasions, to enunciate our national position on that particular group of people. If locals, particularly Zimbabwean men, continue to insist on eating soft yummy cookies that don't need a jackhammer to break, a law to ban them might well become necessary, if for no other reason than to stop us becoming pansies. These biscuits have remained the same for decades, while people's tastes have changed. Still, the dipshits at Charhon's insist on shoving them down our throats. Even when, at one time, Zimbabweans became so desperate for an alternative that they bought truckloads of dollar-for-two lemon creams from across the border, Charhon's did not budge from their strategy. Never mind that these dollar-for-two lemon creams weighed about 0.02 micrograms each and evaporated at the sight of your tongue. We just couldn't take ma-doggie anymore!

Willard's Corn Flakes: Willard's Corn Flakes have a unique ability that is as startling as it is odd - they turn soggy the second you say the word "milk" in their presence. By the time you pour the milk in, they're already porridge. How great is that?! Fuck Kellogg's - who wants corn flakes that stay crunchy and delicious for so long anyway? Unless you're a retard and need more than 2 minutes to finish a bowl of cereal. Lightbulb! Let's legislate to send all the Kellogg's Corn Flakes to hospitals for the mentally challenged! Even though they're 10c cheaper than the local version, they must be removed from the shelves before they kill the local corn flake industry, or the retards starve, whichever might come soonest. Seriously, Willard, wherever you are, do us all a favor and suffocate yourself with a fucking cereal bag.

Gloria Self-Raising Flour: The quality of this flour is as inconsistent as a woman on...well as a woman in general. It started out that you never knew how your mafet-kook (yes I know that's not the spelling, leave me alone) would come out with this flour. Now if you bake with it, you are almost guaranteed a disaster. Unless you tie the bag with a long string and hoist it up to your roof, it simply DOES NOT RISE. Sort of defeats the purpose of calling it "self-raising" - it's about as self-raising as my dick if I sat watching Thabo Mbeki skinny-dipping on a frigid winter night in Cape Town. But I suppose that's not important. The important thing is to buy Zimbabwean, and forget about imported Snowflake Self-Raising Flour which actually rises.

Fresh Produce: Mr. Mandiwanzira is quoted as saying: "It's sad that we are importing carrots and tomatoes from South Africa when local farmers are throwing away their tomatoes that would have rotten (sic) because they don't have markets." Really? Who's throwing away their tomatoes because of lack of a local market? Tomatoes?? Perhaps he was exaggerating for effect, but tomatoes are one product I know the masses in Zimbabwe are willing to buy locally. Potatoes, on the other hand, are a different story. Whereas South African potatoes come washed and look presentable, local potatoes come with clumps of red soil attached. These clumps of soil are genetically engineered to remain attached to the potato no matter what you do, until you get home and soak them for at least 30 minutes. The problem is when the store assistant weighs my potatoes at the supermarket, I want 10kg of potato only, not 8.5kg of potato and 1.5kg of soil. We all know the soil is ours - ivhu nderedu - and we will never pay for it.

Various local sweets: Crystal mints have had the same boring taste and the same packaging since I was in Grade 2. Crystal toffees still have that amazing ability to adhere to your back tooth the second you pop one into your mouth, and then slowly dissolve and leave a rather disconcerting, oily, thin film on the roof of your mouth. Despite the advancements in chewing gum technology, Dandy is still churning out the same flavors in the same packaging they had 25 years ago. Dandy bubblegum loses its taste as soon as you unwrap it, still. After approximately 1.5 seconds of chewing, the taste has disappeared like an MDC bandana at a ZANU-PF rally. Freddo chocolate is still the same Freddo chocolate I used to buy at the tuckshop in primary school, with the same stupid white and green packaging with the same stupid jokes, like "Why did Freddo cross the road?" "Because he hopped the Buy Zim campaign would get people to eat him again even though he tastes like ass." Or something like that. Should I really forego my velvety Cadbury's Chocolate Eclairs for hard-as-rock Crystal Toffees? Or forget about smooth Endearmints in favor of Crystal mints, even though they shred the roof of my mouth and leave a faintly bloody taste on my tongue? No sir, I will not.

Furniture: Entering a local furniture shop such as Pelhams, TV Sales & Hire, Banet and Harris etc. is like walking into The Land That Time Forgot. They still have the same design of lounge suites that our mothers bought before we were born. Yet here we are, the new consumer, this generation of MTV Cribs and Forbes Top 20 Celebrity Mansions on E! We don't want leather couches with polished wood in the armrests. We don't want couches that have buttons. We don't want bedroom suites that have so much wood they'd be deemed a fire hazard in any other country. We don't want velvet or floral material on our lounge suites. No, damn it. We want corner couches in white leather. We want shaggy rugs that feel like heaven under our feet. We want bedroom suites that are sexy, not just functional. As long as we don't have these made in Zimbabwe, don't expect us to "buy Zimbabwe."

Clothing: Edgars and Truworths have been flighting lots of press ads recently, showcasing their new range of work and casual wear. Trouble is, none of their designers have ever heard of Cosmo, or GQ, or any fashion magazine that exists in the world, apparently. Their clothes are appealing only to a very Christian receptionist from Budiriro going to an interview at a briefcase company which recently expanded out of the briefcase and into a cubicle on the 2nd floor of a non-descript building just opposite pa Charge Office. You can get more fashionable gear at Mr. Price in Musina for a fraction of the cost, true story. Would it really kill these idiots to glance at a style magazine now and again?

Cordials: Otherwise generically known as Mazoe, because that's what us Zimbos do. All toothpaste is Colgate, and any soft drink is Kokora. Only at a Zim restaurant can you say to the waitress "I'll have a Coke please", and she smiles sweetly and says: "Ok, what kind?" And then you...without a moment's pause, you say, "Cherry Plum". That will never happen in Indianapolis or Birmingham. Anyway, I digress. Whilst Mazoe itself is an excellent brand, all other locally produced brands in that category should be ashamed of themselves for even claiming to be brands. I bought a 2L bottle of Squish Squash Cream Soda the other day. I wouldn't have, if I'd known the mixing ratio is 1 part water to 5 parts juice. My first glass was unbelievably watery after mixing it using the universally accepted ratio of 1 part juice to 4 parts water. Mr. Mandiwanzira sir, do you know how frustrating it is to add juice, sip to taste, add juice, sip, add juice, sip, and on and on for 20 minutes before getting the taste of your juice right?! For my second glass I simply resorted to using a shot glass to measure one shot of water, then filled up the glass with juice. You don't dare put ice in a glass of Squish Squash - may as well drink a glass of colored water. Tacoola, Quench, Citrade - all the shit's the same. Is it any wonder I now choose to stick to Ceres or Liqui-Fruit when I can't get Mazoe?

Eversharp pens: Before I rant about Eversharp pens, I must give credit where it's due. Despite what I'm about to say about them, the honest truth is that ever since I was allowed to use a pen in school, I have been guaranteed that no matter where an Eversharp pen has been, when I needed to write, the thing writes! It generally doesn't need persuading, it doesn't think twice, it doesn't stutter, it just writes. Brilliant! But my God, its been 50 years and we still have the same gold-tipped refill, the same grey hexagonal barrel, capped by the same ridiculous blue, red or black plastic cap. Not a single brain cell has been expended in trying to innovate this pen, for over 50 years! Meanwhile, Bic now has gel pens, rollerball pens, glitter gel pens, 0.5mm pens, 0.7mm pens, purple, pink and gold pens...the list is endless! So while my staff are happy to use an Eversharp pen to write notes in a staff meeting, my 14 year old niece would slit her wrists if she were forced to use one at school. Surely it wouldn't kill the geniuses at Eversharp Pvt. Ltd. to sit down and even copy the innovations of 10 years ago. That would be a giant leap forward compared to where they are now.

I could go on and on, but this is really not a profitable endeavor for me, since none of you bastards donate money to my blog. I think my point is clear. If "Buy Zimbabwe" means the same as "Buy Shit", then the Zim manufacturers can go to Hell. We are not prepared to sacrifice our hard-earned cash and our taste-buds on this garbage.

Before this campaign gains steam, I think we as consumers should start our own. We can aim it at the manufacturers, and call it the "Stop Making Shit Campaign". We can have our own seminar and media coverage, and I can be the spokesman. We can even have a logo or badge of some sort, which can be put on products we certify worthwhile. Instead of saying "Proudly Zimbabwean", it can say "Guaranteed: Not Shit" or something to that effect. If anyone can design such a logo please let me know. I won't pay you, but you'll feel good for bringing down a fellow Zimbabwean's blood pressure.


  1. Hahaha! Lol. Good one! Those silly bastards could've fooled us once or twice by making the shit cheap, or even free (zimbo's love cheap shit!), but no... They wanna make u pay thru ur nose for the shit! And underpay their workers while they're at it! You can fool me once into eating free shit, lol, but fool me into buying it? You'd be a hero! Lol. I love Eet-sum-mor biscuits, but one day, some fool had misplaced the Bakers phone number and ordered the local Eat-it brand. Tried it, and by it, I mean a corner of one biscuit, and cringed and spat it out! I wouldn't do that to my dog, let alone my fellow humans!

  2. You must get the money that you use to buy your imported products from outside too... what about the real zimbos who are trying to reforge an economy by producing our own "shit" instead of always accepting that someone else can do it better - we chose in the past to make our own because it meant that our money stayed withing our borders, fixed our roads, built our schools - your kids might eat melt-in-your-mouth biscuits but where will they learn about life, economics and globalisation if their parents are cop-outs? Support Zimbabwean creativity, gusto, and strength in the face of adversity - that is what we have always been good at and hopefully will continue to do so.
    And just for the record, I'll be devastated when Freddo frog changes taste, packaging and lousy jokes, Freddo is part of our cultural hertiage!

  3. At Anonymous #2 above, your point is noted. But "always accepting that someone else can do it better..."? Well, newsflash: someone else IS doing it better. We chose to make our own in the past, but the consumers didn't buy it because it fixed our roads! They bought it because it tasted awesome, or looked good, or drove well. For those times. Our products were so good we exported them. But alas, 15 years later our manufacturers are still churning out those exact same products.

    Well, enjoy your Freddo with the taste of 1982. As for me, I will not. I believe that the greatest nations in the world became and remain great because of an ability to continuously innovate, to re-invent themselves and move with the times. In business, you cannot be idealistic, you have to be pragmatic. Pragmatism dictates that for your business to thrive, you must manufacture a product that is up to the standard of your market. It's not just in Zim - in the US, the Toyota Camry is the best selling sedan and has been for many years? How is that, in a country of such professed bleeding heart patriots? Because regardless of the "Buy America" campaign, the majority of Americans realized that American cars are shit. So they voted with their wallets, in their millions, to buy Japanese cars. And German and Korean cars. Until the Big 4 Detroit manufacturers had to be bailed out by Government to survive. That, my friend, is the nature of business.

    I don't see how eating a stale-tasting chocolate will teach my kids about life. If the product is quality, I will buy it. That's why I choose Mazoe Orange Crush over Ceres, Purejoy and Liquifruit. That's why I love Zim beef. That's why I never bought imported, brine-injected South African chicken and opted for Irvines and Suncrest chickens. I support Zimbabwean creativity, gusto and all that. But I will not give Zim companies the false impression that they are doing a good job by continuing to buy their bullshit ass products for ol- time's sake. That does not encourage creativity at all; it encourages laziness, encourages these fat executives to sit on their plush leather office chairs constantly reliving the glory days of old. Those days are gone, the past is another land. Get off your ass, the world has moved on, Zimbabweans have now travelled and been educated all across the globe, and their tastes have changed. So enjoy your Freddo, but trust me, very soon it'll be just you and 10 other people who are buying it. The rest of us refuse to be taken for granted. Our message to these companies is clear: innovate or die.

  4. The reason we are in this shit hole is because we are not the creators/inventors of the technology/equipment/machinery that our industries use but mere operators!

    An example can be either that of the Zimpapers printing press, Econet base stations or the Delta bottling line for Coca Cola, we neither own the technology or are capable of building such hence are unable to improve upon it.
    It always amazes me when the Business Herald report that “Delta invests such and such millions on new bottling plant” or “Econet/Telecel [Netone can’t be used as a credible example] commission new switching station” etc!
    I wonder to myself with all the professors, doctorates and masters degrees in this country and the profits such companies make why can’t they establish research and development departments (R&D) within their firms? Renewal and innovation would then become a culture and such firms would remain on top of their game.

    These so-called giants (Econet, Delta, Zimpapers etc) are giants not because they are good at what they do or are innovative or are even offering world-class services and products, it’s simply because we have restricted outside competition and hence they are able to do what they want and charge what they want! Imagine if Vodafone or Parmalat were to set up base in Zimbabwe?!?

    But look at the boards of the “great” companies, how many CA’s, Professors, Doctorate and MBA holders do they have?!? Zimbabweans love displaying their qualifications, you would think that they put them to any good use and come up with fresh world class ideas. Nope…just fat cats and copy cats!

    The reason that Zimbabwe is still got the same shit they had 10, 15 or whatever years ago on their selves is because we don’t own the technology and have to wait for the creators to come and say “hey, I have upgraded that machine, now you can make X product better and fancier, I will sell it to you” So if they have the money they buy and you have new sleek packaging or better tasting such as the new Dairyboad yogurt range…but then again they are 10 years late! If you don’t have the money then you are stuck with the same shitty freddos or crystal candy sweets!

    As much as we are independent, empowered and indigenizing, we still own jack shit!
    Food for though.

  5. There should be an online way to show applause. Brilliantly said! Most of these companies don't have money to upgrade their equipment, never mind R&D, because the executives are too busy lining their own pockets instead of operating with a vision for the future of their company and our country. Case in point is a story in the Herald this past week that reported that over the past decade the directors of Lobel's Bakery systematically plundered the company of funds in excess of $5 million through payments to ghost suppliers. And now we must eat their shitty bread for the sake of heritage?? Screw that!

  6. And to all this I say Amen!! As a proudly born free, well traveled, highly educated and extremely patriotic Zimbabwean, I totally agree!! It's a pity that this issue extends to the corporate environment as well. Even if us young, energetic ones want to innovate, create, improve, or just make simple systems work more efficiently, we are met with such resistance because of this exact mentality. Buy Zim? I dont think so! I thought the whole point of no longer being subjected to colonial masters and having freedom was about choice! So for all my education and patriotism, i CHOOSE eet-sum-mors over ma-doggie any day. And if others want to live a state of constant nostalgia enjoying your freddo circa 1982, well thank you for proving why it is that africa will remain in the dark ages while the rest of the world continues to develop and prosper!

  7. One thing that is abundantly clear from this blog is that the blogger neither owns a manufacturing business in Zimbabwe nor understands the Zim economy. If you took a moment to analyse the statistics of how many manufacturing companies went under over the past 15yrs vs how many survived, then took another minute to analyse the strategies employed by those that survived, you'd see that most employed a cost cutting strategy as opposed to a re-invention strategy.

    While I fully agree with you that Zimbabwean industrialists need to desperately keep in mind R&D and re-define their product offerings, I think its a bit naive to simply say we make shit and thus this campaign is nonsense. Zimbabwe is at a turning point where company cashflows and financial stability is starting to stabilize now, the country is in a dire liquidity crisis, and until our Gvt comes up with a solution for this, this re-establishment of Zimbabwean industries is likely going to take much longer than we hope. I totally respect your point of view and do not regard you as a sellout, but you analysis of this entire situation is a touch bit shallow, there is a reason Charhons gets away with selling ma-doggie as you call them. Its a mass market product that the masses seem to like. I personally loath them, and feel they should be discontinued, but they are evidently a serious revenue earner for CHarhons...

    I am in telecoms, and have recently finished an analysis of several operations across africa and Europe, and funny enough the Vodafone brand is not known for its quality of either service or product offering so to naively say "Vodafone" would be better is simply not accurate.

    Thats just my 10c...

  8. you forgot to mention the pascall "CHOCOLATE BAR," man that thing tastes awfull! i dont think these guys actaully taste the staff they make and attempt to make a comparison with other products of a similar nature and class, we understand the economic constraints, particularly in the manufacturing sector, but surely innovation and creativity is all mental work that shouldnt cost a cent. i am a patriot, but lets admit it when our own factories are loosing the plot guys!

  9. This is is pure brilliance. May I repost it on my blog? Please email me on

  10. Let's just be serious, our local products are not that great. I am very pro- Zim and I never really considered leaving but vanhuwe tipeiwo ma serious. I will buy quality and i must say that local things have no quality, local has proven not to be lekker.

    I have noticed that we as a nation no longer care about service and standards. If you dare demand it, you are treated as though you are just a mu salad ari kuita noise and nothing is done.

    And yes i too buy the cleaner potatoes, ko mavhu nde eyiko? I will only buy Zim when Zim begins to sell value for money comodities!

    We brag about our high literacy level as a nation, hey people the proof is in the pudding and this pudding sucks! Let's put all this brain to real use... Thank you, this was a good and refreshing read.

  11. Funniest thing I have read in a while... you asked for a logo, he's a start :)

  12. @ So Simple, lolest!!! I'm loving the logo, ha ha ha, I didn't think anyone would actually take me up on my offer. Now, who do we submit it to, hmmm... Mr. Supa Mandiwanzira, maybe? Anyone have his contact details?

    @Petina, please free to re-post, or distribute as you wish. I only ask that you include the link to this blog for credit, that's all.

    @Anonymous re Pascal Chocolate: Man, I remember eating Mint Crisp when I was in Grade 3. And it still looks the same and tastes the same! Uh-uh man, let's be serious, grade 3 was long before the economy started to slide. The truth is failures always have an excuse for why they failed. But in the midst of all that supposedly justified failure, there are always numerous remarkable successes.

  13. As it happens, I got another entry via e-mail for the logo. I'm going to post these on my wall in Facebook and if we get more submissions I'll ask for a vote for the best logo. I'm posting in Facebook coz I don't know how to put pictures on my blog and frankly have no time fiddle around with widgets to figure it out and make the blog look pretty. Late for all that.

  14. anonymous Zimbabwe, we shall get the legislation down that 75% duty is payable on all imports because we make the laws and we have very vested interests in businesses like Lobels Bread etc and some of those you mentioned, actually we own it. and to hell with any progressive quips as long as they do not add any linning to my well-linned pockets. who needs change. for your own information our products are the closest you can get to natural as they are closely organic, like the famous Zim beef and chicken you enjoy. we shall not have it any other way - By Zimbabwe. I chose to be anonymous as it is the most natural thing to be in Zimbabwe and by the way is Zakeo a real name or another layer of anonymity.

  15. Honestly speaking, the buy zim campaign is just a political gimic. Super himself does not use Olivine cooking oil...just to mention.
    The idea is good if these companies are not owned by these corrupt sharks. However when this campaign is a success, the companies will simply import and stock in the warehouses and rebrand...irvines chicken...imported from brazil. Remember that these companies are owned by corrupt guys who can bypass the shitty zimra at any border post.

  16. ok, here's the bottomline.. there's PATRIOTISM (making do with dud products with the hope that with time, given my moral and monetary support, they will improve the said product and introduce more to choose from) and then there is STUPIDITY(continuing to buy dud products in the name of local is lekker - when it definitely it is not and sucks.. big time).

    Zimbabweans who stayed in Zim vachi-kiya-kiya need to wake up and see beyond the fact that, just because something is NOW available on our shelves doesn't necessarily make it good quality...

    Zimbos need to value their dollar.. we seem to quickly forget that for one to have it in one's hand, it had to be hard earned.. so why should I have Charons earn it easy from me.. no ways!!

    Local products are overpriced and made with no heart.. and worse.. local marketeers are quackpots who have no idea how to make anything appealing. Of course am speaking in general terms, there is no need for specifics coz nothing specific stands out from our local array of goods (only a few natural food items still stand out tho we are quickly eroding that quality thru execs who zap up the profits and almost always forget to re-invest in their business - kudya mari yestock chaiko).

    now, let me dust my wallet and go and buy the things I deserve not some local donkey dung i can freely pick at ascot racecourse.

    Local products don't need special treatment, they should aim to be as good and affordable as the non-local products many of us prefer.

    It baffles me how a box of kellogs cornflakes all the way from their factory in Springs, more than a thousand kilometers from my nearest shopping center, would be cheaper than a box of willards cornflakes, made less than ten kilometers from both my house and local supermarket. i already see a handful of anonymous post-ers wanting to point out my ignorance of the politics and whatever-it-ics of production in zimababwe.. in a normal world i should never be bothered to understand the macro-what-whats affecting the price of simple stupid soon to be soggy box of cornflakes..

    @Zakeo.. don't u dare come down that tree.. keep on writing such brilliant pieces lest we be overrun by the dimwit-anonymous-know-it-all-zim-patriots who think we should still suffer at the hands of profit over quality...
    donkey crap!!

  17. @ TinTin, I am totally with you! Ha ha ha, I thought I was the only one that gets so upset about things, but clearly they should call us Legion - for we are many!! Nicely put my friend. And don't worry, I live in this tree, I ain't going nowhere!

    1. Zakeo,i thought i recognised you,i`m the one living on branch number 2!lol....this is a beautiful article,so much so i almost wept!...i`ll have to post a proper comment when i have time.Untill then,keep up the good work neighbour

  18. U right Zakeo. At least someone is telling the truth as it is. My fellow Zimbos have been eating trash and rubbish for the past decade and they have been made to believe that this is the best. They have no idea what a quality product is. Its pathetic. When I visit Zim I bring my own stuff coz the local products; besides bringing old poverty memories, are unfit for human consumption. No wonder Zim life expectancy is down to 37yrs. This food and products are killing us!

  19. For how long have Zimbabwean companies marketed their products with the phrase "export quality"?? This is a clear indication that they know that local quality is below its shit! Do you think that companies in the US or UK market their products with such rubbish?

    end of story!!!

  20. I concur with you guys on the sad state of our local industry. However I would like to challenge us all by asking what are we individually doing about it? It is one thing to talk about it on and on. This is mere rhetoric and us Zimbos are very good at it. We have talked about what needs to be done using our brilliant qualifications that we obtained but nothing has materialized out of it. We are like spectators at a soccer match we know whats wrong with the coach's decisions and choice of players and how the players should have done on the field of play but do not meaningfully contribute to the game. We should stop being touchline commentators and get into the trenches and have ourselves become dirty fixing the state of the economy.

    I suggest we all look around at one aspect of the manufacturing industry we are passionate about, learn the ropes, compare with world class standards and change it to suit our tastes. The world over the best brands were designed not by whiners and perennial complainers but by individuals who actually did something about it. Lets gear up and manufacture the products we want to use and will be proud of.

    Enough of the mere talking do something about it. I am off to invest my mind on the next best thing to come from Zimbabwe. Do the same!!



  21. oh please, this blog is just crap. you obviously are not proud of Zimbabwe thats why you write such nonsense. if you look carefully, all your opening lines for the zim products you mentioned start by giving them praise. mazoe, eversharp, charhons. please be proud.

  22. fuck you if you great nations werent built by ravens who when they see scarecrows(sp) flee to the next field but by those that gunned up their guts and damaged them for all to feed if u are such a patriot cme to zim fix thngs with us

  23. Aah, craziness, be proud of what?? I am ashamed to be a Zimbabwean coz of how we have allowed a handful of people to fuck our country and fuck us in the ass in the process. I guess since we take shit from Zanu, then the local companies might as well force us to buy the shit they make since its obviously our dish of choice.

    Proudly Zimbabwean my ass, when we grow a spine then i can be proud to be a Zimbabwean again.

  24. what i say is buy zimbabwe you numbutts. and be proudly zimbabwean while at it. it don't matter if bob's four inch is wedging your butt cheeks apart. as long as you in zimbabwe you are warrior extraordinaire. if you are in the diaspora, then ah...

  25. There are no entrepreneurs in Zimbabwe but licence seekers

  26. Funny thing is that many Zimbabweans who are capable of turning things around are itching to return and get to work but what kind of fool would do that under Mugabe and Zanu?
    Anything a person builds up they steal, especially if you are white, face facts people, Zimbabwe is now in the hands of the Chinese and black gangsters.

  27. Very apt wording Zakeo, loving the logo too. This gave me a good laugh :)

  28. Let's be real. Ngatipakurirane mafeya, Sun Jam is just not what it was when I used to visit Gogo kumusha back in the day. I'm all for supporting local products. It's a myth that we want foreign products. However in the absence of seriousness what can we do. Most local products; even the packaging is not enticing, neither is the much higher price. Round of applause for all the companies that make us love being Zimbos. I work in South Asia, and will gladly pay for excess luggage so I can bring my Mazoe Orange. Also with me are Faithwear tshirts and 5 of my 20 handbags from House of Josh, which people always ask about and I proudly say that they are from Zimbabwe. Don't get it twisted an appreciation for the finer things does not make me any less patriotic. Speaking of which how many people at the 'Buy Zimbabwe' seminar had anything on them that was made in Zimbabwe, probably not even their socks.

  29. I laughed till I cried! Sad that 18 months later nothing has changed!

  30. When it comes to the styling of the car, I have to say that it really has an awesome detailing but talking about its engine performance I think there are still other car that can give you more power like Japan used cars.

  31. This piece is a well thought out righteous anger. We NEED INNOVATION to put Zimbabwe to its glory, yes INNOVATION.

    Jonathan Muringani Innovation Practictioner.

  32. I haven't laughed so much in AGES - thank you so much. I choked, I wept, I beat my fists on my desk - brilliant! Not to mention true...